Having a hard time reconciling, taming and aligning a jumble of incoherent and disorderly thoughts simmering in my mind. But something is definitely brewing and struggling to ooze out from the suffocating confines of existence. What it is or may be, I have no idea. Vague and shrouded, hammering with an incessant and chronic discomforting strength.
This is more like walking in utter darkness in a descending and thickening mist and haze of uncertainties. When you are lost in an endless spiraling maze of your own contradictions and every subsequent step becomes progressively heavier but the beacon ominously retreats farther away in oblivion with each trudging stride. Out of breath and weary, that is perhaps when the terrifying realization hits home whether you are moving forward or backwards? Or moving in circles; round and round. Or everything else is static, or else rushing at a breakneck speed yet frighteningly stationary with relation to each other_ just like the moon going crazy revolving round us, sweating tirelessly day and night, though never quite mustering or gaining the liberty and freedom to dash away from its orbit yet placid, merry and beaming in the vanity and glow of its delusions never aware of the invisible strings tied round its neck ensnaring it to the very course it is destined to travel in endless repetitions. Again, we never know if that’s a blessing in disguise? For, it brings home the fact what an enormously gratifying blessing and bliss ignorance is, that prevents us from such phenomenol suffering and melancholy….