A sarcasm laced account by Mrs. Delirium
With OBL safely dead and the world a better place to live in, we can safely resume our friendly relations with Uncle Sam. The place was well not that near to Islamabad and no threat to our nuclear assets. And even if they did breach our sovereignty, they were acting in line with their policy on terrorism and since we are the front line estate against terrorism, well they trusted us to understand. And of course we do! So if the place did happen to be where it was, they couldn’t do much about it, could they? With the ISI having strong links with the Taliban, it is perfectly understandable that they could not trust them.
Summarizing the whole episode, it would not be a bad idea if Uncle Sam were to adopt us altogether. We have behaved like the infant terrible up till now, but if we were to be adopted as its 52nd state. The only difference would be publicly declaring it. No? Like an extramarital affair seeing the light of the altar.
Our army has been wrongly accused of acting as their mercenaries, but once declared, it would be perfectly natural for them to safeguard the honour of their country. Unlimited benefits would entail of course.
1. Firstly IMF would be history. And our credit ratings would improve. Instead of us going to them, they would be falling over themselves to give us their loans.
- Energy, unemployment, lawlessness would be tackled with
- We would not have to give up our nuclear programme. It would be a strategic asset rather than a liability. With their (ours) nuclear installations in the region, they can keep China and Iran better at bay.
- For professionals and intellectuals, it would be a boon. Our pay_scales and social security would improve. Unemployment would increase regrettably (who would want to work if they are being paid unemployment fund?)
- And the best part part is that WE WONT NEED A VISA to go to the land of opportunities. But knowing Amreekans, they would surely contrive a way out of this. & our Afghan brethren would go crazy getting our Identity cards (those who haven’t already).
- For the other side the deal would be far from futile. Instead of spending billions on outsourcing, they would be providing job opportunities to their own, instead of Indians. This would decrease foreign spending and save foreign exchange for them.
- They would not have to spend any money on us in the name of Aid and give explanations to skeptic lawmakers about us. It would all be going to the building of their own country.
This alliance is so much more strategic in so many ways and so convenient for both sides. We would not have to pretend to our respective people our actions and they don’t have to ‘pressurize’ us to do any more or less.
Wonder when the goons at Pentagon realize this.