Give and take is the universal principle. No exceptions. Not even divine. It applies everwhere. You lose some. You earn a few. That’s how it works and is bound and meant to be. No two ways about it.
In every relationship, we maintain a joint emotional bank account with that other self. Be it your spouse, dear or loved one, parent, child, mate, buddy, pal, friend, customer or an adversary for that matter. There is a continous stream of sprouting transactions taking place all the time, all the while, from both ends with or even without every exchange. Incessant deposits and withdrawals. Unending debits and credits.
Little things make huge difference. Small acts mean big. It is not the word or act, kind or harsh, but the potential or value that translates into and brings about that corresponding debit or credit that really counts. It is all relative and it all varies with relation to the uniqueness of the other self.
So it is not just what is said that is important. Equally or perhaps more so are the unsaid words and undone deeds. The unexecuted transactions having an enormous potential to turn things around or tip the balance. Then what is left to retard the bonding ? The barriers! Ego, apathy, priorities, time and other resources or lack of understanding and realization ? Or are they just taken for granted ?
And what are these said or unsaid things, done or undone deeds tied with ? Expectations ? Is that what assigns a value to any realized or unrealized transaction ?
Apart from unique and distinct personalities, these expectations are entrenched in mutual communication. When there is symphony or harmony of thoughts and understanding, it all flows and sails in unifying rhythm and sounds melodious, reinforcing the beats to kindle an enviable resonance. Whilst, the lack of it creates a sheer noise and distortion.
The golden rule is ” Try first to understand and then to be understood……” But is it that simple!? You bet your fortune! Much much easier said than done !!!
In theory and text book, it is still damn straight and simple to deal with. Communicate. Identify and remove the underlying causes. Avoid potential conflicts. Avert ugly situations and confrontations. Understand the realities. Expect little or nothing. Give selflessly. Don’t demand and be happy and content with whatever comes your way.
Pratically, it gets increasingly winding and stringent when you encounter the intricacies involved and revelation and surfacing of multiple overlapping paradigms and domains. What does it all lead to ? Avoidance or abstinence ? There is a big tag dangling with it. SELF DENIAL! Now where do we go from here?
In the end, the analogy may seem mundane, businesslike, absurd, bizarre and even mean and insulting being applied to most endearing, palpable, intangible and selfless emotions such as love, trust and care. But then why not ? When every single thing is destined to undergo or supposed to be subjected to some sort of simulation. Even all our virtues and sins would be evaluated eventually, deciding our ultimate fate or so we believe! Broken down into numerous tiny numeric pieces against a yardstick whose guagability remains an enigma. But it is going to be something MEASURABLE and QUANTIFIABLE, specific and relative for sure. Whatever the ultimate unit or tool is supposed to be.
To conclude it all. Let me assert. Loud and clear. What has been a tacit belief and understanding so far or not been uttered with all that vigour.
You mean a lot to me. My friends. All of you. A blessing in my life…….
Lest those words remain unsaid and are lost, silenced and buried in the sands of time or shadowed by merciless and endless shrouds and currents of oblivion without getting themselves registered or counted………
Now I want to embed the link to the video ‘ I want to spend my lifetime loving you…..’ by Marc Anthony and Tina Arena but this damn thing in my hand won’t allow. So if someone would be kind to do me the favour ? No returns guaranteed