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Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Give and take is the universal principle. No exceptions. Not even divine. It applies everwhere. You lose some. You earn a few. That’s how it works and is bound and meant to be. No two ways about it.

In every relationship, we maintain a joint emotional bank account with that other self. Be it your spouse, dear or loved one, parent, child, mate, buddy, pal, friend, customer or an adversary for that matter. There is a continous stream of sprouting transactions taking place all the time, all the while, from both ends with or even without every exchange. Incessant deposits and withdrawals. Unending debits and credits.

Little things make huge difference. Small acts mean big. It is not the word or act, kind or harsh, but the potential or value that translates into and brings about that corresponding debit or credit that really counts. It is all relative and it all varies with relation to the uniqueness of the other self.

So it is not just what is said that is important. Equally or perhaps more so are the unsaid words and undone deeds. The unexecuted transactions having an enormous potential to turn things around or tip the balance. Then what is left to retard the bonding ?  The barriers! Ego, apathy, priorities, time and other resources or lack of understanding and realization ? Or are they just taken for granted ?

And what are these said or unsaid things, done or undone deeds tied with ? Expectations ? Is that what assigns a value to any realized or unrealized transaction ?

Apart from unique and distinct personalities, these expectations are entrenched in mutual communication. When there is symphony or harmony of thoughts and understanding, it  all flows and sails in unifying rhythm and sounds melodious, reinforcing the beats to kindle an enviable resonance. Whilst, the lack of it creates a sheer noise and distortion.

The golden rule is ” Try first to understand and then to be understood……”  But is it that simple!? You bet your fortune! Much much easier said than done !!!

In theory and text book, it is still damn straight and simple to deal with. Communicate. Identify and remove the underlying causes. Avoid potential conflicts. Avert ugly situations and confrontations. Understand the realities. Expect little or nothing. Give selflessly. Don’t demand and be happy and content with whatever comes your way.

Pratically, it gets increasingly winding and stringent  when you encounter the intricacies involved and revelation and surfacing of multiple overlapping paradigms and domains. What does it all lead to ? Avoidance or abstinence ? There is a big tag dangling with it. SELF DENIAL! Now where do we go from here?

In the end, the analogy may seem mundane, businesslike, absurd, bizarre and even mean and insulting being applied to most endearing, palpable, intangible and selfless emotions such as love, trust and care. But then why not ? When every single thing is destined to undergo or supposed to be subjected to some sort of simulation. Even all our virtues and sins would be evaluated eventually, deciding our ultimate fate or so we believe! Broken down into numerous tiny numeric pieces against a yardstick whose guagability remains an enigma. But it is going to be something MEASURABLE and QUANTIFIABLE, specific and relative for sure. Whatever the ultimate unit or tool is supposed to be.

To conclude it all. Let me assert. Loud and clear. What has been a tacit belief and understanding so far or not been uttered with all that vigour.

You mean a lot to me. My friends. All of you. A blessing in my life…….

Lest those words remain unsaid and are lost, silenced and buried in the sands of time or shadowed by merciless and endless shrouds and currents of oblivion without getting themselves registered or counted………   

Now I want to embed the link to the video ‘ I want to spend my lifetime loving you…..’ by Marc Anthony and Tina Arena but this damn thing in my hand won’t allow. So if someone would be kind to do me the favour ? No returns guaranteed

 

 

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An eighty four year old groom weds a seventy six year old bride. This is not a page out of an epic tale weaved by the great Marquez Garcia in another world representing another age but a real show staged in our world of happenings and dramas. 

Unlike Florentino Ariza and Fermina Daza (a girl with the doe’s gait), who in order to stay together, for the lack of better option mutually decided to keep that gooddamn coming and going forever_ our present day bride and groom preferred to choose a convenient, reliable and prudent course by deciding to settle for good in their native village near Bhowana instead of an old stinky marine vessel. Times and circumstances do change after all.
While Florentino had to wait for fifty three years seven months and eleven days and nights to espouse the love of his life, the history books are silent on the length and even depth of current affair. However, the groom has confessed of knowing the girl for ages. In cultural context, if that took ten years to seek permission from her seven kids (who in all probability would’ve constituted the bulk of the dowry by now), after she turned into a widow, or more than twenty years by the groom to convince his own seven offsprings_ a period for which he has remained a widower, nevertheless, remains an enigma. Whatever the barriers were, the couple has successfully surmounted them together with their stoicism and sweet will to lay foundations for yet another happy beginning in their lives.

Amidst all that torrent of suicidal strikes and terrorist attacks that mars the country, the seven kids merrily bid farewell to their mom. Let us join the celebrations and wish the married couple the very best for their union!

Here is the link to the story as published by local press

http://tribune.com.pk/story/144696/no-age-limit-on-love/

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Upon insistence of my (much) better half, I am reproducing what I had scribbled on my other blog sometime back. It goes like….

So here goes my omolette. Rolls off the frying pan as sweetly as the effervscent words of praise for my boss or management trip off my tongue on any normal working day. As laced and spicy as my language tends to be on the occassions.

For those of you, who are being unreasonably mean, overwhelmed and overawed by the better of curiousity and inquisitiveness, lemme put your sinister speculations to rest, once and for all. Before anyone goes on to kill the cat, yes…. I continue to be ‘happily’ married and this is just another innocent, helpless, lame and futile effort at being assertive and self assured.

Ages ago, Newton earned laurels for discovering the fact that ‘To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’. Now those who claim or declare that he was never married are challanged to come up with convincing explaination as what MUST’VE been the intense and abnormal precursor leading to the discovery of such grave universal truth or law of motion having such stern, solemn and dire consequences?

For those who are knowledgable, it is all amiably and undisputedly settled under implicit supreme command without any point to agitate or crib. Any civil disobedience may lead to non civil behaviour so it is better of that way.

Whatever the Newton or physics had to say on the institution of marriage, isn’t it bewildering to know that how an elastic and unending reaction to apparently one innocent, simple, tempting, naive but insane act can attain such unrelenting proportions and magnitude?

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